A frugal grandmother spends 70,000 yen a year trying to keep her grandchildren close

For years, a 72-year-old woman in Japan handed her three grandchildren 30,000 yen whenever they visited. The payments cost her 360,000 yen a year, even though her daughter had told her there was no need to give them money.

The woman, identified by the pseudonym Michiko Sato, has lived alone since her husband died six years ago. She owns her home and has no mortgage or other debt. Her monthly income is about 130,000 yen, and she has savings of roughly 14 million yen, which she hopes to preserve because she worries about her later years and retirement funds.

Her daughter’s family lives about 30 minutes away, but they visit only about once a month. To Michiko, those visits became an important part of life alone. She worried that if she stopped preparing envelopes for each grandchild, the children might no longer want to come. Even when her daughter said, “You don’t need to give them pocket money this time,” Michiko would quietly hand over the cash.

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You don’t need to give them pocket money this time.

After learning about her mother’s fears, the daughter assured her that the children did not visit for the money. They agreed to end the regular allowance, giving cash only at New Year and presents on birthdays. The daughter also suggested cooking food the children enjoyed, especially Michiko’s fried chicken.

At the next gathering, Michiko prepared fried chicken without giving the grandchildren 30,000 yen. They did not appear upset, and she began to see that her fear of being disliked without money may have reflected her own anxiety about the family relationship. She still gives gifts on special occasions and sometimes slips the children a little spending money, despite occasional scolding from her daughter.

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If I don’t give them money, my grandchildren won’t come.