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🇮🇱 Israel /Culture & Society

After months apart on reserve duty, married Israeli couples face a new challenge at home

From Jerusalem Post · () English

Summarized and contextualized by DistantNews.

At a glance

In-depth Named sources Context piece
  • Israeli couples face significant challenges reintegrating after extended periods of reserve duty, with both partners often experiencing emotional distance and stress.
  • Research indicates that reunited couples can function in separate emotional systems, with the partner at home sometimes exhibiting higher levels of PTSD, depression, and anxiety due to prolonged worry.
  • Self-compassion is highlighted as a protective factor for partners at home, significantly reducing stress and improving mental well-being during prolonged strain.

Months apart on reserve duty have left Israeli couples like Maya and Eitan struggling to reconnect, finding the return home more complex than anticipated. Maya imagined a warm reunion, but instead found her husband distant and quiet. Eitan, in turn, felt unsettled by Maya's sole management of family responsibilities.

Many partners have spent months, and some nearly more than a year, in extended reserve duty periods. Couples are discovering that returning to “normal” life is far more complex than simply coming home.

— Dr. Mike GropperThe article's author, a clinician, describes the common challenges faced by Israeli couples after extended reserve duty.

Their experience mirrors a broader trend observed in Israel since October 7, where numerous couples are navigating the difficult transition back to normalcy after extended periods of military service. Research published in Archives of Sexual Behavior in 2024 found that wartime stress significantly diminishes sexual well-being and emotional closeness in couples. This academic finding translates into the lived reality of many partners seeking to understand their difficulties in connecting.

A 2026 study in Psychological Trauma by Kapel Lev Ari, R. et al., revealed that reunited couples often operate within "two different emotional systems." One partner returns conditioned by danger and hypervigilance, while the other has shouldered the full burden of home life alone for months. Surprisingly, the study and clinical observations show that the partner remaining at home can experience even higher levels of PTSD, depression, anxiety, and stress due to chronic worry and uncertainty.

One partner returned shaped by danger and hypervigilance, while the other spent months carrying the full weight of home life alone.

— Kapel Lev Ari, R. et al.This quote summarizes findings from a 2026 Israeli study on reunited couples' emotional states.

However, the research also offers a hopeful outlook. The study found that practicing self-compassion can protect the partner at home. Those who approach suffering with kindness rather than harsh self-criticism demonstrate significantly lower levels of PTSD, depression, and anxiety. This suggests that self-directed kindness plays a crucial role in mitigating the effects of prolonged strain.

Using techniques of self-compassion protects the partner at home.

— Dr. Mike GropperThe author highlights a key finding from the research regarding coping mechanisms for partners at home.
DistantNews Editorial

Originally published by Jerusalem Post. Summarized and contextualized by our editorial team with added local perspective. Read our editorial standards.

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