AI chatbots are helping people communicate with dating partners. Here are some do’s and don’ts

Generative AI chatbots are becoming an unexpected player in the world of romance, assisting individuals with various aspects of dating. While skepticism exists, a growing number of people are turning to AI for guidance, using it as a de facto dating coach or relationship expert.

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what we’re searching for stays the same

Users are employing AI for tasks such as crafting dating app profiles, deciphering messages from potential partners, and drafting replies. However, the success of these AI-assisted interactions can vary significantly. Experts emphasize the importance of understanding how to best utilize AI's capabilities while acknowledging its limitations.

Logan Ury, director of relationship science at Hinge, likens AI's role to a 'wingman' rather than a 'ghostwriter.' She stresses that authenticity is key, and users should ensure the person their match meets online is the same person they encounter in person. Hinge itself incorporates AI-powered tools for conversation starters and profile feedback.

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AI should be like your wingman rather than your ghostwriter because “when you show up on that date, it’s very important that who your match meets is the person who they’ve been talking to online.”

Other experts, like dating coach Erika Ettin, suggest an even more limited role for AI, primarily for tasks like proofreading profiles or messages. Both Ettin and Ury advocate for users to apply their own thought and critical thinking, using AI as a supplementary tool after formulating their own opinions.

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All I ask is for people to put their own thought and critical thinking in first, and then if they’re going to use AI to check something, it’s after they have already formulated an opinion

Jules White, director of Vanderbilt University's initiative on the future of learning and generative AI, points out that the quality of AI advice hinges on the specificity of user prompts. Vague questions yield generic answers, while detailed and well-structured prompts can lead to more tailored results. White clarifies that effective prompting is about learning to "yield this computational thought effectively to solve problems," rather than mere word manipulation.

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way too little and then expecting it to read their minds