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🇳🇵 Nepal /Culture & Society

At 14, she defied her family's plan to marry her late sister's husband

From Kathmandu Post · () English

Summarized and contextualized by DistantNews.

At a glance

In-depth Sources not specified Context piece
  • A 14-year-old girl in remote western Nepal defied her family and community to refuse a marriage to her late sister's husband.
  • Despite intense social pressure and wedding preparations, she used the excuse of menstruation to postpone the ceremony and buy time.
  • She now chairs a local child network, leading efforts to prevent child marriages in her community.

In the remote Achham district of western Nepal, 14-year-old Susmita Nepali faced a fate no child should endure: an arranged marriage to her late sister's husband. This unofficial but deeply entrenched custom in parts of Nepal dictates that a widower can marry one of his deceased wife's sisters, often with little say from the women involved. Susmita, however, refused to comply, standing alone against her family, relatives, and community pressure.

I was alone on one side. My parents and the whole community were on the other side.

— Susmita NepaliDescribing the immense pressure she faced when refusing to marry her late sister's husband.

Her ordeal began after her elder sister, Tanki Nepali, died in March 2025, just six months after her marriage to Jenish Nepali. Six months later, Jenish's family approached Susmita's parents with a proposal for the youngest daughter, then 13, to take her deceased sister's place. Despite having two older unmarried sisters, the groom's family specifically chose Susmita. Her parents, influenced by community norms, agreed to the marriage, setting the date for April 14 without her knowledge.

In our community, after a sister dies, people think the younger sister should marry the widower. My parents and people in the village fixed my wedding for April 14 without my knowledge.

— Susmita NepaliExplaining the social custom that led to the proposed marriage and her lack of consent.

As wedding preparations intensified and relatives gathered, Susmita grew increasingly desperate. She pleaded with her parents and sought help from friends and teachers, who attempted to intervene with her family. When these efforts failed, Susmita employed a strategic ruse: she claimed to have started menstruating. In many Nepali communities, menstruation is considered ritually inauspicious, leading to the postponement of weddings. This tactic successfully delayed the ceremony by 15 days, providing Susmita with crucial time.

I cried. I begged my parents not to do it. The closer the wedding came, the more frightened I became.

— Susmita NepaliRecounting her emotional distress and attempts to dissuade her family.

Today, Susmita is not a child bride. Instead, she chairs the child network of Mellekh Rural Municipality, actively leading local initiatives to prevent child marriages. Her courage in challenging deeply ingrained traditions has transformed her own life and empowered her to advocate for others facing similar circumstances.

I knew they would stop the wedding if they believed I was menstruating. That was the only way I could buy some time.

— Susmita NepaliRevealing the strategy she used to postpone her unwanted wedding.
DistantNews Editorial

Originally published by Kathmandu Post. Summarized and contextualized by our editorial team with added local perspective. Read our editorial standards.

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