Avoid These Five Words: Sexologist Reveals What Not to Say Before Intimacy

A sexologist has identified five words that couples should avoid saying to their partners immediately before engaging in sexual activity, as they can kill the mood. Dr. Emily Morse, a human sexuality expert, shared her advice on her website, Sex With Emily, emphasizing the importance of careful communication during intimate moments.

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Let's say your partner asks 'hey, do you ever want to try anal?' and you laugh in their face. That's a pretty sure way to make someone feel ashamed of their desires!

Morse specifically advises against using the phrase "I don't want to do it." She explains that responding to a partner's suggestion, such as trying anal sex, with a dismissive laugh or a blunt refusal can cause embarrassment and hurt their feelings, even if the suggestion isn't something the person is ready for. This can stifle exploration and create discomfort.

Instead of outright rejection, Morse suggests a more constructive approach. She recommends responding with curiosity and openness, even if the desire is not something one is immediately comfortable with. Phrases like "I'm not sure if that's for me, but tell me more about why it excites you" can show care for a partner's feelings and potentially lead to a deeper understanding and connection.

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I'm not sure if that's for me, but tell me more about why it excites you.

This method of communication, according to Morse, not only avoids hurting a partner's feelings but also serves as an excellent opportunity to deepen emotional intimacy and trust, which are vital for a healthy sexual relationship. She further suggests that one could even say, "While I'm not ready for that yet, I'm willing to help you explore it," demonstrating support and a willingness to engage with a partner's desires.

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It's not about how long it lasts. It's about mutual attraction, knowing what turns you on, and wanting to please each other.