Aya Liu reveals past panic disorder battle, emergency room visit that led to self-discovery

Taiwanese artist Aya Liu, whose real name is Liu Hanyah, has opened up about a difficult period in her youth, revealing a severe struggle with panic disorder in her 20s. She recounted an incident where she experienced such intense symptoms that she believed she was dying and had to be rushed to the emergency room.

Liu shared her story on her official fan page, prompted by learning a friend was diagnosed with moderate depression. She reflected that outwardly, she appeared energetic and driven, always busy with packed schedules and social engagements. However, in quiet moments, she was consumed by fear, anxiety, and a deep-seated insecurity that had plagued her since her teenage years.

"At that time, I couldn't breathe, my heart was racing as if it would burst out of my chest, my limbs went numb, and my whole body trembled. I truly thought I was dying. An ambulance took me to the emergency room," Liu described. Doctors diagnosed her with hyperventilation syndrome due to a panic attack, a critical warning sign from her body that her mind was in distress.

Liu explained that she used constant activity as a coping mechanism to avoid confronting her true feelings. She realized she wasn't truly enjoying life but rather using busyness to numb herself against the anxieties, uncertainties, and pressures she felt. This avoidance stemmed from a lack of emotional coping skills, as formal education rarely teaches how to deal with feelings of unease, anxiety, sadness, or loss.

Following the emergency room visit, Liu embarked on a path of self-discovery and healing. She began reading books on psychology, took up exercise and yoga, and gradually learned to coexist with her emotions. This journey helped her understand that her relentless drive was fueled by a deep desire for validation and a fear of inadequacy. She learned that recovery is not an instantaneous event but a gradual process of emotional settling and self-acceptance.