Charles M. Blow Praises Men Who Step Up for Fatherless Boys

On this Father's Day, contributor Charles M. Blow offers a poignant reflection on the profound absence of a father figure in a boy's life. Blow shares his personal experience of growing up with parents who separated when he was five, and whose father was largely absent, often appearing as an "unpredictable apparition" under the influence of alcohol.

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I know what it feels like to miss a father, the hole it leaves in a boy where his dad should be.

Despite this difficult start, Blow emphasizes his good fortune in having a "constellation of other men", grandfathers, uncles, neighbors, and coaches, step into the void. These men provided the essential guidance, correction, and modeling of composure and possibility that he needed. He expresses a long-held desire for all boys in similar situations to have access to such a community of male role models.

This desire led Blow to an organization in New Orleans called 'Son of a Saint.' Founded in 2011 by Bivian "Sonny" Lee III, whose own father died when he was young, the organization is dedicated to transforming the lives of boys whose fathers have passed away or are incarcerated. Blow visited the group's headquarters, a revitalized community center offering classes, mentorship, and comprehensive support, including case teams to address each boy's academic and emotional needs.

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A constellation of other men stepped into the void he left, grandfathers and uncles, neighbors and coaches providing the guidance and correction, the modeling of composure and possibility that boys need, the kind that can only come from a man like the ones they will become.

During his visit, Blow observed a wellness class where boys learned about mental health without judgment. He also spoke with 16-year-old twin brothers, Michael and Robert, who joined the program after their father's death three years prior. They spoke enthusiastically about summer camps funded by the organization. When asked about their Father's Day celebrations, most boys reported spending it with their mentors from 'Son of a Saint', the men who have stepped into the breach.

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I have always wanted that for all boys similarly situated: a community of men to bridge their way.