Child's defiant disorder rises due to excessive pampering

A 14-year-old boy, the only child in a well-off family, is undergoing psychiatric evaluation at Ho Chi Minh City Hospital of Psychiatry due to his parents' inability to cope with his relentless demands. The situation escalated when the boy threatened to jump from a building if not given an expensive perfume collection.

From a young age, the boy received almost absolute pampering, with his parents' sole condition being academic success. His demands began with toys and phones but grew significantly over time. "At times, he demanded a car, an apartment to live alone, asked for billions of dong, and considered it normal," said Dr. Nguyen Thi Kieu Tien, head of the pediatric psychiatry department at the hospital.

Dr. Tien noted that the parents are exhausted and feel helpless, but the problem is a result of prolonged indulgence. The hospital's pediatric psychiatry department receives approximately 2,000-3,000 children monthly for ODD stemming from excessive parental pampering. Dr. Nguyen Thanh Sang, head of clinical psychology at Children's Hospital 2, also reports a significant increase, seeing over 100 such cases monthly.

This phenomenon of "children ruling the family" is a growing concern, particularly in families with few children, financial means, or a single male heir. Dr. Tien described cases where entire extended families attend appointments, bringing toys, food, and even fans for the child. Parents often struggle to accept that their own parenting methods have contributed to the problem, leading to children who cannot tolerate even minor rejections. This can manifest as school refusal, destructive behavior, suicide threats, or other extreme actions to manipulate parents. In older children, issues can extend to online gambling, substance abuse, or other deviant behaviors.