Commentary: Who am I when the phone stops ringing? Lessons from my first month of retirement

Retirement arrived for Jeffery Tan not with the expected liberation, but with a disorienting silence. After decades defined by meetings, deadlines, and the constant buzz of work-related calls, the sudden absence of structure left him questioning his identity. The first Monday morning of his retirement, July 6, felt both freeing and unsettling as his calendar emptied and his work email vanished.

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What happens when work no longer defines who I am?

Tan discovered that the confidence derived from professional expertise and being consulted can become deeply intertwined with self-worth. For men of his generation, this link to career identity is particularly strong. He notes that retirement doesn't mean the end of contribution, but rather a change in how one contributes, whether through board work, mentoring, caregiving, or community service.

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retirement is merely a change in the way we contribute.

His experience highlights a crucial gap in retirement planning: the neglect of psychological and social preparation. While significant effort is often dedicated to financial security, Tan argues for a parallel focus on building an identity beyond work. This includes cultivating friendships outside the office and pursuing interests unrelated to one's career, ensuring a fulfilling transition into this new life phase.

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Beyond money, retirement planning should also ask whether one has built an identity beyond work: friendships outside the office, interests not tie