Croatian writer Vedrana Rudan dies after cancer battle, leaving behind powerful words on life and freedom

Croatian writer Vedrana Rudan died after a battle with cancer. She was diagnosed in 2024. Rudan, known for her sharp wit and candid observations, had previously spoken about her illness, often using dark humor to cope.

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Now I would give anything to go back to how things were.

Before her diagnosis, Rudan admitted to feeling bored with life, stating she no longer wished to live. However, after receiving her cancer diagnosis, her perspective shifted dramatically. "I would give anything now to go back to how things were," she said, reflecting on her previous sentiments.

Rudan described her initial reaction to the diagnosis with a mix of disbelief and dark humor. She recalled doctors at Rijeka KBC hospital gathering around her, seemingly concerned, while she felt an unexpected surge of laughter. "I imagined this moment a thousand times," she wrote, "writers have vivid imaginations, what it will be like when the doctor approaches you, without a smile in his eyes and says... Will I faint? Go crazy? Start crying? Ask why me? The life expectancy has extended, I'm still young, no, no, no, why me? F***! I experienced none of that."

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I imagined this moment a thousand times, writers have vivid imaginations, what it will be like when the doctor approaches you, without a smile in his eyes and says... Will I faint? Go crazy? Start crying? Ask why me? The life expectancy has extended, I'm still young, no, no, no, why me? F***! I experienced none of that.

Throughout her struggle, Rudan emphasized the support of friends and medical staff, stating that proximity to death changes one's perspective and teaches the value of life. She had announced plans to write a book about dying and often contemplated mortality, noting that many people with cancer struggle to believe in its curability. Her illness profoundly altered her outlook, transforming feelings of melancholy and boredom into a strong desire to awaken and return to normalcy.

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You think your lives are missed and that the world is a valley of tears. Maybe it is, while you are healthy. When you are terminally ill surrounded by good people, bright colors flash around you, your heart is full, and somehow you realize that maybe you are good too, when so many good people care about you.