'Dismantled from the inside out': Finding connection after child loss

For Kimberly Stevens, the profound grief of losing a child is an isolating experience, but connecting with other bereaved parents offers a sense of comfort and belonging. "It just kind of feels like I'm home almost," Ms Stevens said.

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I get this feeling of comfort … it just kind of feels like I'm home almost.

When her son Ethan died in 2021, Stevens found a significant lack of support for parents who had lost a child, particularly in remote locations like Moranbah, a mining town in central Queensland. Ethan, a vibrant 13-year-old, was diagnosed with T-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia on Christmas Day in 2020 and passed away nine weeks later from fungal pneumonia contracted during chemotherapy. "It was really quite quick and very traumatic," recalled Ms Stevens, who is also a psychologist.

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It was really quite quick and very traumatic.

While navigating her own grief and caring for her younger son, Stevens realized the power of shared experience. "When you sit down with someone who is on that same journey, there's so much that doesn't need to be said," she explained. "You're not constantly thinking that you need to explain how you're feeling. If you're crying one second, then laughing the next, it's OK because the other person understands." She described this connection as a "lifeline."

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When you sit down with someone who is on that same journey, there's so much that doesn't need to be said.

Motivated to extend this lifeline globally and overcome geographical barriers, Stevens developed the app Kids Connecting Parents. Launched last year after three years of work, the app connects bereaved parents, allowing them to send connection requests to others in their area or internationally. It currently has 230 registered parents across eight countries. Stevens is preparing to present the app's initial findings at the European Grief Conference in Portugal this September. Fiona Maccallum, a senior lecturer in clinical psychology at the University of Queensland, noted the growing interest in "digital grief tools" and the need for comprehensive bereavement support, including social networks and peer connections. Apps like Stevens's, she suggested, can offer a "road map for the future."

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You're not constantly thinking that you need to explain how you're feeling. If you're crying one second, then laughing the next, it's OK because the other person understands.