Exhausted by new motherhood, Taiwanese singer’s “one move” sparks a marital standoff

For Chiao Fan-fan, the hardest part of becoming a mother was not feeding or caring for her baby. It was the sudden loss of sleep. She said she had always needed eight hours to feel rested, but after giving birth she woke every two or three hours to feed the child.

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My blueprint completely excluded a cesarean section. I had always insisted on a natural birth, but at 28 weeks of pregnancy I discovered that the baby was in the wrong position.

The exhaustion brought anxiety and self-doubt. Chiao said she sometimes cried and wondered whether she had lost her attractiveness. She also pressured herself with the thought: “I am a mother. If even I cannot do it, how can anyone else?” By speaking openly about her vulnerability and communicating sincerely, she said she gradually regained confidence.

Chiao, who married singer Lou Jun-shuo in 2024 and gave birth by cesarean section in late March, shared the experience while appearing on the September cover of the parenting magazine Baby and Mother. She said Lou accompanied her throughout the delivery and recorded the entire process. She had hoped for a natural birth, but accepted a cesarean after the baby remained in the wrong position through 39 weeks and six days of pregnancy.

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I was shocked by the lack of sleep. It turns out a person can wake up every two hours and not die.

The couple’s arguments came from trying too hard to protect each other’s sleep. Chiao could not sleep when she heard the baby cry, while Lou repeatedly told her to rest when he took over. When the baby’s schedule disrupted her attempts to sleep, she eventually chose to stay awake. Lou then stayed awake with her for a full day, even though he had to work the next day, which made her angry.

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I am a mother. If even I cannot do it, how can anyone else?

They finally came up with an unusual solution: if neither could bear to let the other lose sleep, they would stop trying to sleep separately. The three of them set up a tent in the living room, turned on a television fireplace and listened to the sound as white noise. Chiao said they naturally fell asleep together.

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Together, not sleeping.