Family law attorney's plea: 'We are judged by people who don't understand our work, and that feels very unsafe'

Jolande ter Avest, a family law attorney in Utrecht, describes a deeply unsettling reality for lawyers in her field: they are increasingly targeted by individuals involved in complex domestic disputes. She recounts incidents of her office being broken into and even attempts to run her off the road. The emotional toll is significant, with one former client's spouse, convicted of attempted manslaughter, making a chilling 'I know where to find you' gesture after a court session.

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There have been people who broke into our office. Who tried to run me off the road on a weekend – on my way to the theater.

Ter Avest, who has practiced family law for 18 years, specializes in cases involving domestic violence, coercive control, and intimate terrorism. Despite her expertise and requests from the judiciary for training, she feels increasingly unsafe. The article notes that while threats against criminal defense lawyers are often reported, the dangers faced by family law attorneys are less visible. Ex-partners in divorce and child custody battles frequently direct their anger towards the opposing counsel.

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I have had a case against someone who was convicted of attempted manslaughter. Afterwards, I saw him sitting in his car. And all he did was move two fingers towards his eyes, meaning 'I know where to find you'. I really lost sleep over that.

The safety concerns are compounded by a growing backlog of cases and a shrinking pool of specialized lawyers. Ter Avest states her firm turns away approximately 500 victims annually, unable to find representation. She attributes this crisis to a combination of factors, including the threats they face and a profound frustration with how the system often fails victims. "I have often seen women abandoned by the system in recent years," she states, citing issues with child protection services and the courts.

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It is of great importance that lawyers, who make an important contribution to the shaping and maintenance of our rule of law, feel free and safe to perform their duties properly.

Ter Avest criticizes what she calls the dominant 'fighting divorce' framework within social services and the judiciary. She argues this perspective often assumes shared responsibility for conflict, potentially overlooking the dynamics of abuse and leaving victims feeling unsupported and unheard. The article suggests this systemic issue contributes to the overwhelming workload and the dangerous environment faced by family law professionals.

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My office turns away about five hundred victims annually. These people have nowhere to go. There are fewer and fewer lawyers who want to do this work.