Friendships in Adult Life: Are We Forgetting How to Be Friends?

I was looking forward to an evening with a close friend in Berlin. We had not seen each other for some time, so I hurried to finish my daily to-do list and arrive on time. We both reached the restaurant at 5:30 p.m., under a blue sky and bright sunshine.

At the table beside us, several young women, perhaps students, were drinking beer and laughing. They looked as though they had already spent the afternoon there. One of them cheerfully said into her phone: “Of course, come over. We’ll probably be here for a while yet.”

The moment captures a contrast that often defines friendship in adult life. Time together can feel less like something that unfolds naturally and more like another appointment competing for space in an already crowded calendar.

The article asks why adults often lose that sense of ease in their friendships and how they might recover the familiarity and closeness that once seemed effortless.

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Of course, come over. We’ll probably be here for a while yet.