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Gabriel Rolón, Psychoanalyst: 'Love Needs Its Own VTV'
🇦🇷 Argentina /Culture & Society

Gabriel Rolón, Psychoanalyst: 'Love Needs Its Own VTV'

From La Nación · () Spanish

Translated from Spanish, summarized and contextualized by DistantNews.

At a glance

Interview Named sources Context piece
  • Psychoanalyst Gabriel Rolón uses the metaphor of a "car inspection" (VTV) for love, urging couples to periodically assess their relationships.
  • He identifies the fear of loneliness as a major factor driving people to stay in unhealthy relationships, despite the inherent solitude of human existence.
  • Rolón also discusses desire as an uncomfortable indicator of lack, prompting individuals to seek fulfillment through various means, ultimately highlighting that living with this inherent lack is a fundamental aspect of the human condition.

Psychoanalyst Gabriel Rolón advocates for a regular "inspection" of romantic relationships, likening it to a vehicle's mandatory technical review (VTV). He observes that many individuals find themselves in relationships they would prefer not to be in, either because they haven't accepted aspects of their partner or have resigned themselves to the situation.

Most people unfortunately have partners they would not want to have, either because they have not fully accepted what they don't like about their partner and suffer, or because they have resigned themselves.

— Gabriel RolónRolón describes the common dissatisfaction in relationships.

Rolón points to the pervasive fear of loneliness as a primary reason people remain in detrimental relationships. He argues that this fear leads individuals to overlook the inherent solitude that comes with being human. "We get used to it and end up in love traveling without a spare tire, without a fire extinguisher, with the vehicle of love a bit broken down," he stated, emphasizing how fear can trap people in unsatisfying partnerships.

The fear of loneliness is intrinsic to the human being, because even in those moments when you can take refuge, even by hugging the person you love, after a while you will feel that you have calmed down a lot, but you continue to feel that loneliness that runs through you.

— Gabriel RolónRolón explains the deep-seated nature of loneliness and its impact on relationships.

Expanding on human behavior, Rolón delves into the discomfort that arises from desire. He explains that desire inherently signals a "lack" – the yearning for something one does not possess. This discomfort can manifest in various ways, from seeking a simple glass of water to searching for a future partner. Rolón describes desire as a spotlight illuminating what is missing, prompting people to pursue external things like love, success, or children in an attempt to fill an ultimately unfillable void.

Desire makes you uncomfortable because it points out the lack. You desire what you don't have.

— Gabriel RolónRolón defines desire as a signal of absence.

Ultimately, Rolón posits that accepting and living with this fundamental lack is intrinsic to the human experience. He concludes that embracing the "tragic sense of life" – acknowledging mortality and the impermanence of all things – is part of being human. This involves understanding that loss and the absence of what we desire are inherent conditions we must navigate.

This is being human; it is living with the tragic sense of life, that I know I will die, I know that all those I love will die, I know that everything I love will eventually not be there. I have to live with that, knowing it.

— Gabriel RolónRolón reflects on the fundamental human condition of mortality and impermanence.
DistantNews Editorial

Originally published by La Nación in Spanish. Translated, summarized, and contextualized by our editorial team with added local perspective. Read our editorial standards.

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