Gov. Umo Eno’s Tale of Bread and the Missing Fish

Governor Umo Eno, a pastor and now the governor of Akwa Ibom, once sold bread and akara by the road to Mobil in Eket. According to his account, the business brought in N10 million a month. That is the sort of detail that can turn an ordinary political speech into a full-blown parable.

The story’s religious imagery is hard to miss. Eno’s account is presented as a playful remix of the biblical story of Jesus feeding the multitude with loaves and fish, updated with Remi Tinubu’s advice about akara. When business was booming, he said, he added coffee to the menu. Not palm wine or “ufofop,” the Ibibio word for gin or spirits, but coffee.

The article imagines Eno before government office, without the airs of a governor, running what it describes jokingly as a rapidly rising corporation rather than a small business. It sees both regret and pride in his recollection. Why, the writer asks, would anyone leave a venture making N10 million a month for the insults and burdens of political office?

That question becomes the article’s comic refrain. President Bola Tinubu has spoken about agbado, while the First Lady has repeatedly spoken about akara. The writer argues, with deliberate exaggeration, that bread, akara and a little coffee offer the answer to the country’s suffering. In Shomolu slang, the piece says, this would make Eno a “Fabu Master,” worthy of a chieftaincy title if he ever appeared there.