Hiphop star Stor after years of darkness: 'Starting to feel powerful'

Swedish rapper Ulises Infante Azocar, known as Stor, is emerging from a period of darkness, feeling "powerful" as he releases his fifth album, "Grindarna till Ithaka." The title itself references Odysseus's journey home, a fitting theme for the 39-year-old artist who is now beginning to understand himself better.

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Tell the ancestors that we thank them. All the stress, all the worry, all the fear. Receive it as a gift to Mother Earth.

Stor describes himself as having been a perfectionist, excessively hard on himself. He now realizes that his struggles were not solely about alcohol but stemmed from the immense pressure he placed on himself. This realization marks a significant shift from his earlier years.

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This is how I maintain my new life.

Emerging in the late 2000s, Stor quickly established himself as a prominent voice in Swedish hip-hop. His debut, "Nya skolans ledare," showcased vivid lyrical imagery of Stockholm's underbelly and established him as a style-setter for a new generation. The "king's crown" stylized on his name symbolized the high expectations he felt, both internally and from his family, which included a father who was a poet and a great-grandfather admired by Pablo Neruda.

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I have been such a perfectionist. So hard on myself. But I don't see myself as a sober alcoholic. Because today I understand that it was never about the spirit itself. It was about the pressure I put on myself.

Despite early success, awards, and critical acclaim, Stor admits he never felt it was good enough. This internal struggle, coupled with his family's artistic legacy, fueled a relentless drive for perfection. He now seeks a more grounded existence, even engaging in shamanistic practices to process his pain and express gratitude, transforming his past struggles into "fertilizer for all that will soon be in full bloom."

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Every time I released an album, I got five out of five. I won awards. I was Stor, that talented rapper. But it was still not good enough, I have felt that all along. And I have had a very hard time dealing with when I haven't measured up.