How to handle my partner's anger when our son prefers his mother?

A concerned mother has reached out for guidance on how to handle her partner's anger, which erupts when their four-year-old son displays a clear preference for her.

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He says 'forget it then' to us and walks away.

The situation has become increasingly difficult as the partner, who reportedly grew up in a home marked by addiction and emotional suppression, feels rejected and unloved. He interprets the son's behavior as a personal slight, responding with anger directed at both his partner and their child.

"He says 'forget it then' to us and walks away," the mother explained, expressing her distress and her unwillingness to accept such behavior towards their son. She is seeking advice on how to offer support to her partner while simultaneously establishing necessary boundaries.

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It feels sad that it is you and not your partner who is writing to me.

Child psychologist Malin Bergström acknowledged the mother's situation, noting that the partner's difficulties might be linked to his upbringing. However, she stressed the importance of him taking ownership of his issues rather than blaming his past.

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To get the best out of your parenting, it is absolutely fundamental to own your own problem.

Bergström pointed out that while childhood experiences can influence adult behavior, the partner has had ample time to address his challenges as a parent. She highlighted the availability of free support services in Sweden for parents facing similar difficulties, regardless of gender or parental status.

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Blaming one's own miserable childhood while making the same mistakes with one's own children is incredibly sad.