How to raise a child who believes in themselves: Experts highlight seven rules

Occasional insecurity is a normal part of growing up, especially when children compare themselves with peers or face unfamiliar challenges. The concern begins when the feeling of not being good enough becomes almost constant and starts affecting school, friendships and family relationships.

Experts sometimes refer to this as an inferiority complex, although that is not an official diagnosis. The more common term is chronically low self-esteem. Children dealing with it may avoid new activities because they fear failure, give up quickly, struggle to accept praise or rely heavily on other people’s opinions.

The signs can take different forms. A child may become highly self-critical, withdrawn, sad or irritable. Some may act bossy or rigid to hide insecurity, blame others, make excuses, avoid social gatherings or react strongly when events do not go as planned. A sudden change in a child’s relationship with themselves deserves attention, particularly when it begins disrupting everyday life. Low self-esteem can also occur alongside depression or social anxiety, so parents should not automatically dismiss the behavior as a difficult phase.

Parents play an important role. Research links emotional warmth, support and clear limits with higher self-esteem, while constant criticism, neglect and excessive protection can have the opposite effect. When a child faces a problem at school or with friends, parents can first ask how they feel, what they have tried and what they think they could do next. Discussing possible solutions together, while allowing the child to choose an age-appropriate response, can build a sense of competence.

Criticism should focus on specific behavior, not on labels such as “you are lazy” or “you never do anything right.” Praise also works best when it identifies the effort or action that went well. Supportive parenting does not mean permitting everything: children still need clear boundaries when they tease others, cheat or behave unacceptably.