'I Destroyed My Body, But Was Encouraged to Continue': Katleen, Aaron, and Anaelle on Living with Eating Disorders

On World Eating Disorders Day, three individuals are sharing their personal struggles to shed light on the profound and often invisible impact of these conditions.

Katleen (50), Aaron (40), and Anaelle (30) have all battled eating disorders for years. While their specific experiences vary, they universally describe how the illnesses completely seized control of their lives, shrinking their worlds and dictating their every action.

Katleen, who now chairs the support organization ANBN, battled various eating disorders for three decades. She began with anorexia in her early teens, later developing orthorexia and binge eating disorder. She hesitated to seek help for years, partly because she didn't fit the stereotype of a severely underweight young girl. "I pushed away the fact that I had a problem, but I also didn't recognize myself in the stereotypical image of an eating disorder: a young girl with severe underweight. I couldn't apply that label to myself," she explained.

Her eating disorder dominated her life hour by hour, day by day. "Even at night, I lay awake calculating what I would eat and how much I would exercise. The rules became stricter and stricter, and I became harder and harder on myself. It was never enough, and you unconsciously go along with it." This rigid structure bred intense panic when deviations occurred. Spontaneous plans with friends to eat out would cause her to "crash immediately." She resorted to constant lying to mask her avoidance of social eating, a behavior that conflicted with her inherently honest nature.

Aaron and Anaelle echo these sentiments, describing how their ability to enjoy time with friends was contingent on meeting their bodies' perceived demands or achieving specific weight goals. This led to feelings of isolation and self-doubt, questioning their belonging and adequacy. The organization ANBN hopes that by sharing these deeply personal stories, they can foster greater understanding and encourage more attention to the pervasive effects of eating disorders.

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De eetstoornis beheerste mijn leven elk uur van elke dag. Zelfs 's nachts lag ik wakker om uit te rekenen wat ik zou eten en hoeveel ik zou sporten. De regeltjes werden steeds strenger en ik werd telkens harder voor mezelf. Het was nooit genoeg en je gaat daar zelf onbewust in mee.