'I felt I wasn't worthy': Para athletes on barriers in elite sport

Para rower Nikki Ayers has retired from the sport, citing a toxic relationship with a support team member that made her feel objectified and unworthy. Ayers, who won gold at the Paris Paralympics alongside Jed Altschwager, decided to step away after the Games due to the negative impact on her mental well-being.

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[They] made me feel like I had less value, made me feel like I wasn't good enough. At times I felt objectified, that I wasn't worthy of being anything more than someone who could win a gold medal.

"At times I felt objectified, that I wasn't worthy of being anything more than someone who could win a gold medal," Ayers told ABC Sport. She revealed experiencing sexism, homophobia, and ableism, and hopes her decision will lead to change. "I want people to realise the impact that it has so we can create change to stop it from happening," she said.

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I want people to realise the impact that it has so we can create change to stop it from happening. So, we can recognise women as the amazing [people] that we are and that we can contribute to society equally as well.

Ayers's experience is not unique. Veteran Paralympian Danni Di Toro, who has competed in eight Games across two sports, also spoke about the challenges of navigating a sporting environment often dominated by male athletes, coaches, and managers. "If you're a female and you're going up against men in positions of power and you don't feel confident, then that is a very scary environment," Di Toro told ABC Sport.

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There just hasn't been the psychological safety for me at a level where I feel safe to pursue more within that sport. It's not an easy decision, especially as an athlete.

A recent survey by ABC's Elite Athletes in Australian Women's Sport found that half of respondents identifying as living with a disability experienced discrimination. Systemic issues, including prize money inequity and athletes having to personally fund their careers, continue to hinder the full participation of disabled athletes in sport.

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It took me dealing with a lot of pretty average attitudes, that forced me to kind of be really firm. If you're a female and you're going up against men in positions of power and you don't feel confident, then that is a very scary environment.