Japanese Father's Extreme Frugality Leads to Son's Estrangement, Deep Retirement Regret

A 68-year-old Japanese man, identified only as Mr. Goto, faces deep regret in his retirement due to a fractured relationship with his only son. Despite a successful career that once saw him earning an annual salary of 9 million yen (approximately $57,000 USD), and a combined family income exceeding 12 million yen ($76,000 USD), Goto consistently told his son, Atsu, that the family was poor. This ingrained frugality led to Atsu's estrangement.

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Our family has no money.

Goto's wife passed away five years ago, leaving him alone with 56 million yen ($357,000 USD) in savings and a monthly pension of 180,000 yen ($1,150 USD). His retirement is financially secure, yet he is haunted by the rift with his 35-year-old son. Throughout Atsu's childhood and even into his university years, Goto enforced extreme austerity. The family lived in a small rented apartment, ate simple meals, and limited outings to rare, day-trip excursions. Even his wife's occasional desires for small luxuries were met with Goto's disapproval, forcing her to save her part-time earnings.

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Because of this, I couldn't buy the things I wanted, and I had to give up the schools I wanted to attend. In the end, I could only go to a school I compromised on, and I'm still paying off the loan.

Atsu's educational choices were also severely restricted. Goto dictated that his son could only apply to three universities, prioritizing those with low travel costs. This limitation forced Atsu to take out loans to cover part of his tuition. After graduating and finding employment, Atsu moved out. Even then, Goto continued his frugal lifestyle, telling his son he had over 50 million yen in savings to avoid causing worry. However, Atsu never visited again.

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Is it really better to sacrifice family happiness to save money? I'm not coming back to this house anymore. Please live on your own with that money.

When Goto finally asked why, Atsu revealed his resentment. He explained that his father's constant claims of poverty prevented him from buying desired items and forced him to abandon his preferred schools, leading him to incur debt. Atsu confronted his father about the discrepancy between their financial claims and reality, questioning the sacrifice of family happiness for savings. He declared he would no longer return home, urging his father to live alone with the money. Goto later learned through relatives that Atsu had married, but was not informed directly. The father is left with profound emptiness, realizing that while savings can be accumulated, lost family time is irretrievable.

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Maybe I saved too much in the first place.