Jorge Luis Borges's first marriage: jealousy, fights, and reconciliations

Jorge Luis Borges's romantic life was often marked by unrequited love and failed relationships, yet he married twice. While his later marriage to María Kodama is well-known, his first union with Elsa Astete Millán, which began in 1929, offers a different perspective on the celebrated Argentine writer.

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The happiness you gave me and took from me must be erased; what was everything must be nothing.

Borges met Astete Millán when he was 30 and she was 19, introduced by Dominican intellectual Pedro Henríquez Ureña. Their initial romance in the late 1920s ended when she married another man. They reconnected in 1964 after she was widowed, leading to a rekindled relationship and their eventual marriage in 1967.

This first marriage stands in contrast to the widely held view, articulated by Mario Vargas Llosa, that Borges's sentimental life was a "pure disaster." Vargas Llosa noted Borges often fell for intelligent women who accepted him as a friend but kept him at a distance once his romantic intentions became clear.

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Borges's sentimental life was a pure disaster, one frustration after another.

Lucas Adur, a literature doctor and coordinator at the Jorge Luis Borges International Foundation, describes Borges's state during the reunion with Astete Millán as having an "urgent desire and need to marry." The article suggests that despite the complexities and perceived failures in his love life, Borges sought and found companionship in marriage.

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They spent the whole afternoon chatting, had dinner together, and went to the movies. From that day on, they began to see each other. Borges was excited about the reunion. He had an urgent desire and need to marry.