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Man's dilemma over marrying older girlfriend sparks online debate
๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท South Korea /Culture & Society

Man's dilemma over marrying older girlfriend sparks online debate

From Dong-A Ilbo · () Korean

Translated from Korean, summarized and contextualized by DistantNews.

At a glance

News Sources not specified Context piece
  • A 30-year-old man is seeking advice online about his relationship with his 6-years-older girlfriend of five years.
  • He feels pressured to marry her, but he is not ready and questions the responsibility of not marrying after a long relationship.
  • Online reactions are divided, with some arguing marriage should be a prerequisite after five years, while others emphasize marriage as a personal choice.

A debate is unfolding online after a 30-year-old man shared his dilemma regarding his five-year relationship with a girlfriend six years his senior. The man, identified as A์”จ, expressed uncertainty about the expectation to marry, questioning if not proceeding to marriage after five years constitutes irresponsibility.

If you don't marry me after dating for 5 years, are you irresponsible?

โ€” A์”จ (30-year-old man)The man's initial post questioning the societal pressure to marry after a long-term relationship.

A์”จ met his girlfriend through a club when he was 25 and has been dating her since. While he enjoys the relationship, he admits he hasn't seriously considered marriage. However, his girlfriend has recently begun pushing for marriage preparations, discussing venues, housing, gifts, and honeymoons, much to his surprise and discomfort.

Take responsibility

โ€” Girlfriend's friends/family (reported by A์”จ)Comments made to A์”จ when he expresses hesitation about marriage.

He reports feeling pressured, with comments like "take responsibility" and "you should have said earlier if you didn't want to marry" arising when he expresses hesitation. A์”จ stated his current desire is to maintain the dating relationship rather than marry.

If you didn't want to marry, you should have said so earlier.

โ€” Girlfriend's friends/family (reported by A์”จ)Accusations leveled against A์”จ for not clarifying his marriage intentions sooner.

Online responses are split. Some netizens believe a five-year relationship typically implies marriage intentions, suggesting he should have clarified his stance earlier. Others argue that marriage is a personal choice and distinct from dating. A common piece of advice is that differing expectations about marriage necessitate a relationship reevaluation.

Marriage is a personal choice.

โ€” NetizenOne of the viewpoints expressed in the online discussion.
DistantNews Editorial

Originally published by Dong-A Ilbo in Korean. Translated, summarized, and contextualized by our editorial team with added local perspective. Read our editorial standards.