Mental wellbeing: When a parent goes abroad for work, children can feel a loss that has no end

When a parent migrates for work, children are left with fragmented presences that never quite form a whole person. As parental migration becomes increasingly common in Nepal, the psychological cost for children may be underestimated. While digital communication offers a semblance of connection, the physical absence creates an ambiguous grief, leaving children neither fully connected nor entirely foreign.

Sunika Joshi, a mental health professional specializing in child and adolescent mental health, explains that in the initial months after a parent leaves, children often experience grief-like responses. These can include sadness, confusion, anger, and somatic complaints like headaches and stomach pain. Younger children might exhibit stress through bedwetting or increased crying, while adolescents may grapple with worry, loneliness, and fear stemming from uncertainty. This state is termed 'ambiguous loss,' a profound sadness not related to death, where a parent is physically absent but emotionally present.

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When one parent goes abroad for work, what happens inside a child’s mind in the first few months before the ‘new normal’ sets in?

Joshi notes that adolescents might also feel a sense of pride, viewing the migration as a sacrifice for the family's financial security and future improvement. The presence of a supportive caretaker, clear explanations about the changes, and consistent communication with the migrating parent are crucial. Underlying vulnerabilities, such as family stress due to debt or illegal migration, can exacerbate emotional and behavioral symptoms in children.

Prolonged physical absence can shape a child's attachment style, potentially leading to anxious or avoidant behaviors. The way families manage the separation and provide support during this time significantly influences how children adapt. Joshi stresses that if children have the right support, they can remain hopeful, but without it, the risks of emotional and behavioral issues increase.

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It can be termed as ambiguous loss, which is a profound sense of loss and sadness that is not death-related; the parent is physically absent but psychologically or emotionally present in some way.