‘My marriage ended in 2024’ — Bashir El-Rufai’s ex-wife opens up on divorce, single motherhood

Halima Kazaure, the former wife of Bashir El-Rufai, son of ex-Kaduna State Governor Nasir El-Rufai, has shared intimate reflections on the end of her marriage and her journey into single motherhood. In a personal essay published on her Substack, titled “Memoirs of a Single Nigerian Twin Mum with ADHD,” Kazaure disclosed that her union dissolved in 2024, leaving her to raise their two-year-old twin sons alone.

“

I became a single mother when my boys were two. My marriage ended in 2024. The truth is that I had never had much faith in marriage. I didn’t grow up surrounded by enough examples that convinced me men were particularly safe places to put your heart.

Kazaure admitted to a lifelong skepticism about marriage, stemming from her upbringing and a lack of positive examples. She described entering her own marriage with a premonition of its failure, likening it to "preparing for its funeral before it even began." This underlying fear, she suggests, shaped her experience and contributed to her tendency to anticipate loss, even during happy moments.

“

Somewhere inside me, I think I knew my marriage would end before it even began. Imagine entering a marriage already preparing for its funeral.

Despite the marital breakdown, Kazaure's essay focuses less on the specific reasons for the divorce or accusations against her ex-husband. Instead, she uses the experience as a lens to examine her complex relationship with love and her pattern of expecting the worst. She candidly discusses falling in and out of love again after her marriage ended, acknowledging a persistent, almost paradoxical, faith in love despite her reservations about men.

“

Then my marriage actually ended. And somehow, several months later, I fell in love again. Of course I did. For someone with so little faith in men, I have a ridiculous amount of faith in love. I trusted again. Hoped again. Imagined again. And got my heart broken again.

She described men as potentially staining one's "white garment," a metaphor for purity or reputation, yet she continues to embrace love. Kazaure finds solace and unwavering affection only in her twin sons, who represent the most consistent and cherished part of her life amidst changing businesses, hobbies, and friendships.

“

There is a saying that men will stain your white. The irony is that I love wearing white.