Pears Beat Everything – An 'Objective Truth'

Fredrik Sjöberg makes a bold claim: pears are the best fruit in the world, an "objective truth." In his essay for Svenska Dagbladet's "Fruits of the Earth" series, Sjöberg passionately defends pears, stating he has eaten all fruits and knows this to be fact.

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Everyone has a relationship with pears and knows from their own experience that they (1) are incomparably good and (2) difficult to eat with dignity.

He dismisses other fruits with disdain. Apples and oranges are relegated to the opinions of "scout leaders" and "retired school counselors" who lack valid arguments. Bananas, he suggests, are merely for children to smear and are not a serious fruit for adults. Sjöberg even hints at a confession of sorts, warning that what follows is the "absolute bottom of confession literature."

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Pears beat everything. An objective truth.

While acknowledging historical artistic tributes to pears, Sjöberg quickly moves past art history. He notes that pears are universally relatable, known for being "incomparably delicious" yet difficult to eat with dignity, often becoming messy. He playfully dismisses the Adam and Eve apple story as a winter tale, suggesting that in summer, "all normal Swedes are brain-dead," leading them to seek out simple pleasures like those found in a supermarket.

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Only scout leaders (apples) and retired school counselors (oranges) are of a different opinion.