Psychoanalyst: True Happiness Embraces Imperfection in the Present Moment

Renowned psychoanalyst Gabriel Rolón explores the complexities of personal fulfillment in the modern era, challenging the pursuit of immediate results and unattainable ideals of happiness. In an interview with LN+, Rolón argued that true well-being is not about achieving a perfect state but about embracing life's inherent imperfections. He introduced a neologism, "faltacidad," to describe a form of happiness that acknowledges and integrates all of a person's lacks, absences, pains, and wounds.

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We must build happiness in the present.

Rolón highlighted the significance of memory, particularly the memory of absence, as a marker of what has been lost. He stated, "Memory is a very particular and enigmatic place, because it is where we keep the things we have lost so that death does not take them away forever. And so that place is a treasured place." He cautioned against society's tendency to seek quick fixes, emphasizing that genuine happiness requires conscious and courageous effort. "Being happy implies a very big responsibility," he asserted, urging a redefinition of happiness away from unrealistic expectations.

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There is no happiness. There is faltacidad, which is a happiness that is capable of embracing all my lacks, my absences, my pains, and my wounds.

"How do I build within myself that I am mortal, that I am aware of my finitude, that I have the memory of the wounds and lacks that already inhabit me?" Rolón questioned. He posits that happiness is not found in the past or an uncertain future but in the "eternity of the here and now." "We must build happiness in the present," he insisted, adding, "Happiness is imperfect."

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Memory is a very particular and enigmatic place, because it is where we keep the things we have lost so that death does not take them away forever. And so that place is a treasured place.

Rolón also touched upon the role of love in navigating existential angst, describing it as a human invention to temporarily "deceive death." Love, he explained, helps to lessen the pain of loneliness and the disturbance of sadness. However, he also warned of the power one grants to a loved one, suggesting that healthy love involves a "renunciation of power over the other."

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Love is that marvelous invention of men to try to deceive death for a while.