Psychologist Gabriel Rolón: 'What was is already lost,' urging focus on present happiness

Psychologist and writer Gabriel Rolón advises against becoming overly fixated on past moments of happiness or solely anticipating future well-being. He stresses the importance of engaging with the present, warning that "people desire to have been happy more than to be happy."

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People desire to have been happy more than to be happy.

Rolón describes memory as an "enigmatic treasure" where individuals store what they have lost. However, he notes that these memories are not static. "We do a kind of editing, a photoshopping of memories," he explained, observing that people tend to idealize past relationships, stages of life, and even deceased parents or childhood experiences.

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We do a kind of editing, a photoshopping of memories.

The core issue, according to Rolón, arises when this idealized past prevents individuals from actively cultivating happiness in the present. "What was is already lost," he stated, acknowledging that past experiences provide meaning and context to life. Yet, he cautioned that they should not hinder the pursuit of current well-being. "Let's not get off the ride of life prematurely," he urged.

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What was is already lost.

Rolón clarified that he does not discourage future-oriented aspirations but warns against perpetually postponing present contentment. "Let's try something here, now," he summarized. Ultimately, he believes that while past experiences mold individuals, they do not entirely dictate one's capacity to create happiness in the here and now. "We are what we do with what was done to us," he concluded.

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Let's not get off the ride of life prematurely.