Psychologist: Life is brighter when you strive to overcome external pressures and find your own desires

Argentine psychoanalyst and writer Gabriel Rolón asserts that external pressures and the desires of others frequently obscure our own true wishes, creating a significant disconnect from our authentic selves. In an interview on LN+, Rolón explained that the path to personal satisfaction involves actively distinguishing between genuine desires and the impositions of our environment.

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It is not easy to know what one desires. It is not easy. Because so many things stand between desire and oneself. The first thing that stands in the way is the desires of others. Those are the voices. Those are the mandates, what was expected of us.

Rolón described how individuals often live under the weight of external discourses, becoming "eccentric to ourselves." He emphasized that personal effort is the driving force behind transforming reality, stating, "Life becomes much brighter and much more attractive when one makes an effort." He values continuous learning and formation as ways to enrich existence and "eroticize thought."

The psychoanalyst elaborated on how societal expectations and parental influences can interfere with our ability to identify and pursue our own desires. "All those external voices that told us how we should be, whom we should love, whether we should study or not, whether we would be happy or useless – all those voices that were constructing us and accompanying us from the day we were born, very often get in between our desire and ourselves," he said.

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We are so permeated by the opinions of others that we become eccentric to ourselves.

This internal conflict can lead to individuals feeling alienated from their own center, with the voices of parents and society clouding their decision-making capacity. Rolón noted the "mandates, criticisms, and pain" that arise when people feel they are disappointing expectations. He added that this anguish, disappointment, and guilt often stand between a person and their true desires.

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Life becomes much brighter and much more attractive when one makes an effort.

Rolón also touched upon the concept of inherited narcissism, where parents project their unfulfilled desires onto their children. He urged for more self-awareness, suggesting that individuals should be allowed to discover their own desires rather than simply fulfilling parental expectations. "We are always eccentric to our desires, overwhelmed by words," he concluded, highlighting the pervasive difficulty in truly knowing oneself.

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All those external voices that told us how we should be, whom we should love, whether we should study or not, whether we would be happy or useless. All those voices that were constructing us and accompanying us from the day we were born, very often get in between our desire and ourselves.