Psychologist Milena González: 'Two Mistakes That Break the Bond With Your Child'

Milena González, a psychologist and popular online personality known as 'Una Mamá Psicóloga,' has identified two critical errors that can fracture the parent-child relationship. With a significant following on platforms like TikTok and Instagram, González focuses on child development and effective parenting strategies.

She emphasizes that childhood and adolescence are crucial developmental stages where experiences profoundly shape a child's personality, self-esteem, and social interactions. According to González, parents often fall into the trap of constant criticism, frequently telling children to do things like pick up their clothes. Equally damaging is the failure to acknowledge their efforts, responding with dismissiveness like, "I see you picked up your clothes, so what do you want, a medal?"

González warns that such phrases, repeated over time, send a damaging message to children: that their best efforts are never enough. This can lead to discouragement, defensiveness, rebellion, or a complete cessation of trying. Instead of criticism, she advocates for clear, neutral instructions such as, "It's time to pick up your clothes." This approach, free from reproach or judgment, is far more effective than constant reminders laden with criticism.

The psychologist stresses the importance of validating children's feelings and acknowledging their processes. This doesn't mean abandoning boundaries or limits, but rather encouraging effort, putting words to their struggles, and helping them feel seen. Naming a child's effort, González concludes, strengthens their internal motivation and deepens the bond with their parents.