Psychologist Pilar Sordo: 'Peace is Not in Advancing, but in Stopping'

Chilean psychologist and author Pilar Sordo argues that genuine peace is found not in relentless progress, but in the ability to pause and engage in self-reflection. In a modern world that often prioritizes external achievements, Sordo suggests that true well-being stems from an internal capacity to stop and observe oneself.

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Peace is not in advancing, but in stopping.

Defining authentic relationships, Sordo rejects the notion that they are spontaneous. Instead, she emphasizes that they demand conscious investment of time and energy. "Relationships are worked on, they are not spontaneous," she stated. For Sordo, real connections blend honesty with compassion, humor, and fundamental trust, underscored by loyalty. However, she cautions against unfiltered honesty, advising that "honesty must be associated with prudence" to avoid causing harm. The commitment to truth, she believes, must include empathy and responsibility, steering clear of blaming others.

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Relationships are worked on, they are not spontaneous.

Sordo highlights the significant threats to individual identity in the digital age, particularly from social media. She contends that these platforms foster an illusion of unattainable perfection, generating anxiety and dissatisfaction. The constant comparison inherent in social media compels individuals to conform to rigid standards to gain social approval, eroding authenticity. Furthermore, algorithms limit users' perception of reality by presenting only content they are likely to engage with, hindering exposure to diverse perspectives and contributing to a state of chronic dissatisfaction fueled by constant digital stimulation.

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Honesty must be associated with prudence.

To counteract this "chaos," Sordo advocates for daily silence and self-observation. She encourages individuals to check in with their feelings at least three times a day to identify physical or emotional patterns. Sordo also stresses the impact of internal dialogue, stating that mental health is directly linked to the language one uses with oneself. "The more positive your language or the better you speak to yourself, the better your mental health will be," she explained. She advises breaking habits like immediately checking one's phone upon waking and limiting screen time before bed to protect mental clarity from external noise.

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The more positive your language or the better you speak to yourself, the better your mental health will be.