Refugees find a home and a richer life in Dutch household

Darren arrived in the Netherlands in November 2022, fleeing Trinidad and Tobago because of his sexual orientation. He previously worked in logistics and shipping but was forced to stop working in February due to his asylum application. "It feels very frustrating," he stated. "I want to get out of the asylum procedure as soon as possible and start my life." Even a letter from his former employer, Auping, to the immigration service (IND) did not help, and the vacancy remains unfilled.

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I want to get out of the asylum procedure as soon as possible and start my life.

Barshank arrived in the Netherlands in 2023 and received his residency permit in March. He fled Syria in 2011, working in computer technology, and traveled through Iraq and Turkey to Greece. Although he found work in Greece, he could not obtain citizenship, and the situation for the LGBTQ+ community was unsafe. He eventually traveled to the Netherlands, drawn by its open culture. After staying in Ter Apel, he was placed in Deventer, where he took classes at Laura's school, "Iedereen aan Boord."

Laura established the school in 2023 with her mother to help refugees learn Dutch and integrate into society from day one. The school unfortunately closed last year due to disagreements over tendering. Laura, a forensic psychologist by training who previously worked in secure forensic psychiatric clinics, found it difficult to balance childcare with the responsibility for 38 sex offenders. She now works as a project leader for humane reception for the municipality of Hengelo. Two years ago, she separated from her partner, who lives nearby. They had previously housed refugees together, a practice she decided to resume.

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I'm not doing this out of do-goodism or to be the 'white helper'; I want to show that it's possible. My life has simply become much more fun since I started living with people from different backgrounds.

Darren and Barshank knew each other from the asylum seekers' center and were already friends. "I really wanted to leave there and was very happy when I heard that Laura had a room I could move into," Darren said. Laura added, "Then I thought: if I let the children sleep in one room together, I can make a second room available. I'm not doing this out of do-goodism or to be the 'white helper'; I want to show that it's possible. My life has simply become much more fun since I started living with people from different backgrounds." Barshank, who wanted to leave his asylum center after some trouble, immediately agreed when he heard about the second room. Laura set the condition that they would cook, as she has a busy job and two children. "They cook fantastically, so I'm a lucky bastard," she said. Darren, however, did not see it as a deal, stating that household tasks are divided by agreement. Barshank added that he does the grocery shopping three times a week, and they eat together every evening, like a normal family, often watching a documentary or a dating show afterward.

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They cook fantastically, so I'm a lucky bastard.