Sex on a First Date: An Expert Says It Might Not Be a Bad Idea

The age-old notion of waiting for a third date before engaging in sexual intimacy is increasingly being challenged, with a recent study revealing that 49% of individuals have admitted to having sex on a first date. This trend suggests a shift in modern dating norms, where physical intimacy is becoming less tied to rigid timelines.

Experts in sexual wellness and mental health highlight that sex on a first date can offer practical benefits. According to sex therapist Rachel Wright, the idea that intimacy on a first date will lead to a loss of interest is outdated. She argues that for some, early intimacy can be a helpful tool to quickly determine if a second date is warranted or if the connection is not strong enough to pursue further.

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Sex on the first date can be beneficial if you want to have sex on the first date. Here's the thing – there is no 'right time for sex'. And I'm talking about sex with the definition of 'a significant experience of pleasure'. Beliefs that you will no longer be liked if you have sex on the first date are outdated and can only make people feel ashamed.

However, the decision to engage in sex on a first date is a personal one, and not everyone feels comfortable with it. A significant reason cited by those who refrain is the discomfort of being intimate with someone they do not know well, with 47% of respondents in one survey indicating this as their primary concern. The study also noted that while over one in seven men are open to first-date sex, a majority of women (61%) are not.

Ultimately, the consensus among experts is that there is no single 'right time' for sex. The most crucial element is open and honest communication between partners about their expectations and desires. Whether individuals prefer to establish an emotional connection first or are comfortable with immediate physical intimacy, discussing these feelings openly ensures that both parties are on the same page, fostering healthier and more respectful interactions.

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Where you fall on this spectrum is perfectly fine and it is recommended to talk to the person you are dating about it. If you've been texting for two days before the date, it might not happen – but if you've been texting for two months and trying to set up a date and it's finally happening, you might have already talked about sex. Be honest with yourself and the person you are dating about your expectations of yourself and them.