DistantNews
Support us
Sexologist Alessandra Rampolla: 'The Secret to a Good Lover is the Desire to Know and Discover'
🇦🇷 Argentina /Culture & Society

Sexologist Alessandra Rampolla: 'The Secret to a Good Lover is the Desire to Know and Discover'

From La Nación · () Spanish

Translated from Spanish, summarized and contextualized by DistantNews.

At a glance

Interview Sources not specified Context piece
  • Sexologist Alessandra Rampolla emphasizes that being a good lover is about the desire to know and discover a partner, not innate skill.
  • She advises against believing in a universal formula for satisfaction, stressing that each person is unique and requires a personalized approach.
  • Rampolla highlights that true skill lies in paying attention to the partner's needs and desires, fostering authentic connection through continuous learning and communication.

Sexologist Alessandra Rampolla asserts that the key to being a good lover lies not in inherent talent but in an enthusiastic desire to explore and understand a partner. Speaking in a 2018 interview, Rampolla challenged the notion that sexual prowess is purely innate, stating, "It can be taught, yes. A good lover for me is one who has the enthusiasm to know and discover. And we can all know and discover."

It can be taught, yes. A good lover for me is one who has the enthusiasm to know and discover. And we can all know and discover.

— Alessandra RampollaThe sexologist explains her view on the learnable nature of being a good lover.

Rampolla identified a common mistake: the belief that a single formula exists to satisfy another person. She explained that every individual is distinct and necessitates a unique approach. "In other words, each person you face is a world apart. And for me, the good lover is the one who encounters a person, a new body, a new situation and says, 'I know nothing. I come here to see what I find,'" she stated.

In other words, each person you face is a world apart. And for me, the good lover is the one who encounters a person, a new body, a new situation and says, 'I know nothing. I come here to see what I find.'

— Alessandra RampollaRampolla elaborates on the importance of approaching each encounter with curiosity and openness.

Addressing the tendency for some individuals, particularly men, to exhibit excessive self-confidence and believe they possess all the answers in intimate relationships, Rampolla stressed that genuine skill involves attentive observation of the partner's needs. "Having the attitude and enthusiasm to go discover these new lands, so to speak. To conquer this that is in front of me which will be new, different," she explained.

Having the attitude and enthusiasm to go discover these new lands, so to speak. To conquer this that is in front of me which will be new, different.

— Alessandra RampollaThe sexologist describes the mindset of a good lover focused on exploration.

This willingness to explore, according to Rampolla, cultivates a more authentic connection. It compels individuals to focus on their partner's feelings and responses rather than relying on their own perceived abilities. "That attitude puts you in a position of really paying attention to what is happening with another person, what he or she likes, not what I think I do well, which is different," she reflected. Rampolla concluded that sexuality is a continuous learning process where open communication is paramount, emphasizing that "no one is born knowing how another person is."

That attitude puts you in a position of really paying attention to what is happening with another person, what he or she likes, not what I think I do well, which is different.

— Alessandra RampollaRampolla explains how focusing on a partner's needs leads to a more authentic connection.
DistantNews Editorial

Originally published by La Nación in Spanish. Translated, summarized, and contextualized by our editorial team with added local perspective. Read our editorial standards.

More Stories

From Our Blog