Should we also financially support our entrepreneur son?

A couple, who are first-generation university graduates and have benefited greatly from their education, are grappling with a dilemma regarding their younger son. They had promised to financially support their children through further education as an investment in their future. While their other child is studying and receiving assistance, their entrepreneurial son, who left secondary school early and has been steadily employed, has never asked for money or help. The parents are proud of his reliability and independence but question whether they should also offer him financial support, even if he never asks, and when they should abandon the idea that both children must invest in formal education.

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We are proud that he is reliable and takes his own responsibility. He never asks us for money or help.

One expert, Rogier Schotvanger, acknowledges that while a diploma is a valuable goal, it may not suit every child. He suggests focusing on alternatives that align with the son's strengths and weaknesses. Schotvanger advises the parents to remain engaged with their son, showing interest in his life and work. He recommends telling their son that they are also saving for his future development, making funds available should he decide to pursue something that advances his life or career. This approach, he suggests, avoids coercion and allows a plan to emerge organically through ongoing conversations.

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It is important that you remain in conversation with your child and follow him in a curious way. Show interest in his world.

Ad Kil, another expert, points out that first-generation students often overcome significant obstacles. While the parents' desire for their children to achieve similar success is understandable, Kil questions whether the son's path is a matter of willpower or capability. He validates the parents' concern about the son's lack of formal qualifications for the job market. Kil suggests that if entrepreneurship does not succeed, the son might need a different approach, but emphasizes the importance of open dialogue and respecting the son's choices while keeping his future development in mind.

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Your concern about the lack of a starting qualification for the labor market is justified.