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🇸🇪 Sweden /Health & Science

Struggling to make friends? How to support your lonely child

From Dagens Nyheter · () Swedish

Translated from Swedish and summarized by DistantNews. Read the original for the full story.

At a glance

In-depth Named sources Context piece
  • Parents should initiate conversations about loneliness without transferring their own anxiety to the child, according to Bris social worker Marie Angsell.
  • Angsell advises parents to listen rather than offer simplistic solutions, and to recognize that the end of a friendship can cause intense distress.
  • Parents, preschools and schools can help children build relationships by creating inclusive settings and supporting social interaction.

Seeing a child left alone in the schoolyard can be deeply painful for parents, but getting the child to talk about it may be difficult. Marie Angsell, a social worker and specialist at the nonprofit organization Bris, says adults need to take the initiative while keeping their own emotions in check.

Children know that having many friends and being included are treated as the norm, Angsell says. Being excluded can therefore bring shame. Some children tell her they feel they do not fit in or that nobody likes them. Parents should approach the subject carefully and understand that a child may not immediately open up.

You as an adult need to take the initiative to start the conversation, but it is important to keep track of your own feelings and not transfer your anxiety to the child.

· Marie AngsellShe advises parents on how to raise the subject of loneliness.

Angsell warns against rushing into problem-solving. Advice such as simply calling another child and asking to meet may feel impossible to a lonely child. Parents can instead talk about how friendships change, with periods of having fewer friends and other periods of having more. They should also respect the grief that can follow a friendship ending, especially when the child did not understand or choose how it ended.

Advice to the child risks becoming tone-deaf. Suggesting that they simply call and ask whether they should hang out may be impossible for the child.

· Marie AngsellShe cautions parents against offering overly simple solutions.

There are practical ways to create opportunities for new relationships, including inviting classmates home or enrolling the child in an activity. Parents can also look closely at the relationships already around the child. Preschools and schools have a role as well. Staff should work with parents, discuss inclusion with students, ensure enough adults notice social situations and support children as they interact.

Adults can also teach through their own behavior. “An important part of parenting is not only talking with your child, but also modeling how we show respect for one another,” Angsell says.

An important part of parenting is not only talking with your child, but also modeling how we show respect for one another.

· Marie AngsellShe describes how parents can model healthy relationships.
About this summary

Originally published by Dagens Nyheter in Swedish. Translated, summarized, and contextualized automatically by DistantNews, with a note on how the source frames the story. Not individually reviewed before publishing. How this works.

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