Surrounded yet alone: The hidden loneliness behind Israel’s mental health crisis - opinion

The tragic suicide of Bar Asraf, who took his own life at the grave of his murdered girlfriend Liron Barda, has starkly illuminated the pervasive loneliness lurking beneath Israel's celebrated resilience. His sister, Lihi, shared a poignant observation: "We were at my brother’s wedding. He apparently started to feel lonely. You couldn’t tell. He was always happy and laughing."

This sentiment resonates with findings from a significant study on online mental health support conducted by the University of Haifa and Ben-Gurion University. Analyzing helpline data after the October 7 massacre, the study observed a decrease in expressions of suicidality and depression over time. However, loneliness emerged as a primary concern, disproportionately affecting women and younger users of the service.

Loneliness is more than just social isolation; it is a profound and painful feeling of disconnection. It can manifest as an inner emptiness, a sense of being unseen or misunderstood, or feeling like an outsider even when surrounded by others. Physically, it can present as chest heaviness or a lump in the throat. It signals an unmet emotional need, akin to hunger signaling a physical need.

This feeling of disconnection is not only a symptom but also a significant risk factor for both psychological and physical ailments, potentially shortening lifespans. The relationship between loneliness and mental illness is bidirectional: loneliness can precede conditions like depression, while mental health struggles can lead to social withdrawal and negative interpretations of interactions, exacerbating feelings of isolation. Individuals who are neurodivergent or struggle with social communication may experience significant loneliness, feeling like they don't 'fit in,' even if they appear socially active.

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We were at my brother’s wedding. He apparently started to feel lonely. You couldn’t tell. He was always happy and laughing.