The Challenge of 'Being' in a World Obsessed with 'Doing'

In a society that relentlessly emphasizes productivity and achievement, the idea of simply "being" rather than "doing" can feel like an impossible demand. This sentiment is explored in a recent column reflecting on the phrase "Human Be-ing, not Human Doing," which gained traction after appearing in the South Korean drama "My Heart Is Spying." The drama's character, Hwang Jin-man, advises his brother to stop the frantic "doing" and embrace "being."

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Don't do, just be. Just exist, quietly. Don't be frantic, going back and forth, 'doing.' Just 'be.'

While the phrase resonated with many as a critique of a hyper-competitive society that judges individuals by their roles and accomplishments, the author finds it difficult to fully embrace. The article points out that in a world where worth is tied to results, those who are not constantly producing can feel devalued, especially when they transition out of traditional roles like employment or retirement. The pressure to perform is so pervasive that it can even lead individuals to feel worthless if they cannot demonstrate tangible achievements.

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If you can't be treated as a person just for existing, it's a society that doesn't accept people as they are.

The author draws on the work of Japanese clinical psychologist Kaito Dohata, who explored the challenges of "being" in his book "People Who Find It Hard to Be." Dohata's experiences in a care facility for individuals with mental health conditions highlighted the profound difficulty of simply existing without a defined task or role. He recounts his own struggles with "being" in a new organization, even resorting to counting the rings on a wooden desk out of sheer lack of purpose.

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To be able to exist in a defenseless state without any effort, one must be able to entrust their entire body to something.

Ultimately, the article posits that genuine "being" is not a solitary act but one that thrives on interdependence and connection. Drawing parallels to a baby's need for a caregiver or a child's security with a watchful parent, it suggests that true existence is possible when one can fully rely on another. This reliance, whether through mutual care, casual conversation, or shared laughter, forms the essential human connection that allows for authentic "being."

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Being is only possible when someone is beside you, when you depend on each other.