The truth about narcissists – and why most people get it wrong

The label 'narcissist' has become a pervasive insult in modern discourse, frequently applied to everyday selfishness, arrogance, and even abuse. However, psychologists caution that this popular usage grossly misrepresents the clinical reality of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

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People often use this word to describe someone who is selfish and arrogant

Debbie Mirza, author of "The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist," argues that those who have encountered true narcissists would never use the label lightly. Dr. Catriona Davis-McCabe, president of the Australian Psychological Society, expresses concern over the normalization of the term, noting its frequent appearance in reality television where it's often misapplied. She points out that these portrayals do not reflect the actual diagnostic criteria for NPD.

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We often see it on the TV in reality programs where people will call a partner narcissistic, but they are not referring to Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

According to Dr. Kelly Gough, a clinical psychologist and president of The Australian Psychologist Association, a formal diagnosis of narcissism remains "extremely rare." He describes NPD as one of the more complex and contested mental health diagnoses. While individuals may exhibit some personality disorder traits occasionally, meeting the criteria for a personality disorder requires these traits to be consistently observed across various times and situations, as outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR).

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It's important to remember that any of us can exhibit some personality disorder traits occasionally, but to meet the criteria of a personality disorder, the traits must be repeatedly observed over different times, places, and circu

Elinor Greenburg, an American expert, explains that individuals with NPD perceive life as a strict hierarchy, constantly striving for the highest status. However, Sydney psychologist Dr. Amanda Ferguson stresses the importance of healthy self-esteem and confidence, distinguishing it from narcissistic tendencies. She notes that the ease of access to information via social media and AI has led many to incorrectly self-diagnose or diagnose others, blurring the lines between normal confidence and a clinical disorder. The lifetime prevalence of NPD is estimated at about 7.7% for men and 4.8% for women, with only 1-2% meeting the criteria at any given time.

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People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder see life as a vertical hierarchy, where the goal is to get as close to the top as possible. Everything is about status.