Therapist: Children Need Well-Behaving Parents, Not Necessarily In-Love Parents

The notion that parents must remain in love for the sake of their children is a common misconception, according to psychoanalyst Wolfgang Schmidbauer. He contends that while many couples stay together believing it benefits their children, this is often a "self-deception."

Schmidbauer emphasizes that children's primary need is not for their parents to be romantically in love, but rather for them to maintain a respectful and positive relationship. Children are acutely aware of the atmosphere at home, readily perceiving and reacting to arguments, emotional coldness, or a general lack of affection between their parents.

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Not in first line. What is important to them above all is how the parents treat each other. Arguments, coldness or loveless behavior children perceive very precisely.

"What children actually need," Schmidbauer explains, "is not primarily that their parents love each other. What is important to them above all is how the parents treat each other." He asserts that witnessing negative interactions between parents can be deeply detrimental to a child's well-being.

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If parents no longer love each other, that is often considered the beginning of a family catastrophe. Many couples therefore stay together – allegedly for the children's sake. The therapist and psychoanalyst Wolfgang Schmidbauer considers this self-deception.