Therapist: 'I had affairs and simultaneously wrote marriage guides'

Love, according to 82-year-old couple's therapist Michael Cöllen, is not a divine gift but a skill that must be learned. After 55 years of practice, Cöllen asserts that love requires self-criticism and that a partner's ability to see our flaws can be painful yet essential for self-discovery and a fulfilling relationship.

Cöllen, who has spent over half a century guiding couples, now views love as a blend of happiness, hard work, and profound understanding. He believes that partners act as mirrors, reflecting our true selves, including our vulnerabilities. Accepting this reflection, though sometimes difficult, is crucial for personal growth and strengthening the bond within a relationship.

His perspective challenges the notion of love as mere luck, reframing it as an active, ongoing process. This continuous effort and mutual recognition foster a deeper connection, transforming the experience of love from a passive state to an engaged, evolving journey of self-awareness and shared commitment.