Ukraine War Tears Couple Apart: 'You Left Me'

Nadija, 42, and Wassyl, 37, have been a couple for twelve years. Before the Russian invasion, Nadija worked as a content editor in Kyiv, while Wassyl is a graphic designer for an international firm. In February 2022, Nadija fled to Berlin with her daughter Vira, but Wassyl stayed behind in Ukraine. Over time, it became clear that Nadija did not want to return, and he could not leave Kyiv. Both considered separation.

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It was a joint decision in the first days after the war began.

"It was a joint decision in the first days after the war began," Nadija recalls. A friend in Ukraine had a contact in Berlin offering temporary housing. "I knew Berlin from visits and thought: my daughter and I will be safe there." She remembers sitting in a hotel in the Carpathian Mountains, deciding whether to leave or stay. "He said: 'It's okay if you go.' So we decided together." Yet, she later felt he accused her of leaving him.

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It's okay if you go.

Wassyl explains his perspective: "How could I have been against it? We were afraid Kyiv would be taken very quickly; there was even talk of a nuclear strike back then. It was logical that Nadija and Vira had to leave." However, after five months, Nadija's temporary housing ended. She chose to stay in Germany and find work and housing, as the war showed no signs of ending. This realization led Wassyl to say, "You left me." Nadija protested, "That's not true. We decided this together." But he felt deeply hurt.

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How could I have been against it? We were afraid Kyiv would be taken very quickly, there was even talk of a nuclear strike back then. It was logical that Nadija and Vira had to leave.

"It's true, I said 'left' – but not as an accusation," Wassyl clarifies. "More as a description of a fact: you were no longer with me. Of course, I understand your reasons. The rockets are flying, just like then. Nevertheless, the fact remains that you left." He admits to conflicting feelings: happiness that Nadija and Vira found a place, but also the dawning realization they wouldn't return soon. "I slept badly. My thoughts went in circles. I distracted myself – went hiking or fishing, so as not to constantly think about it," he says.

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You left me.