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🇰🇷 South Korea /Culture & Society

We all live inside our own wells

From Hankyoreh · () Korean

Translated from Korean, summarized and contextualized by DistantNews.

At a glance

In-depth Sources not specified Context piece
  • Individuals often become irritated when others' actions deviate from their personal standards, leading to self-imposed stress.
  • Our personal standards are shaped by diverse life experiences, creating potential for conflict and misunderstanding.
  • Understanding one's own 'well' of experiences and acknowledging others' unique perspectives can foster empathy and reduce friction.

Many people find themselves easily irritated when others' behavior doesn't align with their own standards, a phenomenon that can lead to significant self-imposed stress. This internal friction arises when individuals perceive a violation of what they consider to be the 'right' way to act, whether in public spaces or professional settings. The article suggests that this constant judgment of others, while often stemming from a desire for order, can be exhausting and counterproductive.

I get annoyed when others' actions deviate from my standards. I want to fix it, but it's tiring.

— Patient experiencing irritationThis quote illustrates the common experience of frustration when encountering behavior that clashes with personal expectations.

The root of these differing standards lies in our unique life journeys. Each person's upbringing, environment, education, culture, and personal values shape their individual 'well' of experiences. When people with distinct backgrounds interact, their differing perspectives on etiquette, communication, or work practices can clash. This inherent diversity means that what one person considers acceptable, another might find offensive or disruptive, creating a fertile ground for misunderstandings and conflict.

Why don't they follow public order? Why do they act like that? Don't they consider others?

— Patient experiencing irritationThis reflects the internal monologue of someone judging others' actions based on their own sense of propriety.

The article uses the metaphor of a frog in a well to illustrate how limited perspectives can lead to rigid thinking. When individuals remain confined to their own 'well' of experiences, they may struggle to comprehend or accept that others have different viewpoints or 'wells.' Recognizing that one's own standards are not universal, but rather a product of specific circumstances, is the first step toward developing a more flexible mindset. This self-awareness allows for a greater appreciation of individual differences.

Why do I always judge and get tired over other people's actions and words?

— Patient reflecting on their own behaviorThis shows a moment of self-awareness, questioning the habit of judging others.

By understanding the origins of one's own beliefs and standards, individuals can begin to see how these have been formed. This introspection can lead to the realization that others, too, operate with their own set of values shaped by their unique experiences. This empathetic approach, which involves looking beyond surface-level behavior to understand the underlying context and background of others, can help dissolve conflict and foster a more harmonious coexistence. The article suggests that acknowledging these individual 'wells' and their differences is key to navigating interpersonal relationships more peacefully.

Everyone has their own standards for public order and etiquette. When I adhere to them and others don't, it bothers me.

— Psychiatrist explaining the source of irritationThis explains the psychological basis for irritation when personal standards are perceived to be violated by others.
DistantNews Editorial

Originally published by Hankyoreh in Korean. Translated, summarized, and contextualized by our editorial team with added local perspective. Read our editorial standards.

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