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🇦🇺 Australia /Culture & Society

'What's happened to me?': Bearing witness as my nan faced dementia

From ABC Australia · () English

Summarized and contextualized by DistantNews.

At a glance

In-depth Sources not specified Context piece
  • The author reflects on their grandmother's battle with dementia, which gradually diminished her independence and memories.
  • A childhood memory of the grandmother bravely protecting the author from a donkey highlights her protective nature and strong bond with her grandchildren.
  • The article explores the subtle early signs of dementia and the profound emotional impact of witnessing a loved one's cognitive decline.

Dementia slowly eroded my Nana's independence, memories, and sense of self, but even as her mind faded, the strength of our bond remained a guiding light.

Nothing scared my Nana and no donkey was going to get between her and her granddaughter.

— AuthorRecounting a childhood incident that exemplifies her grandmother's protective nature.

I recall a vivid childhood moment when my younger sister, then six, provoked a donkey. As the animal reared up, I, an eight-year-old frozen by fear, watched helplessly. But my Nana, then 70, charged out, log in hand, covering the two hundred meters to protect her granddaughter. Nothing scared her, and no donkey would stand between her and us. That moment became a metaphor for our lives; Lulu and I felt brave facing the world's 'donkeys' because Nana was always in our corner.

Ann Dorothy Miller, whom we called Nansie, moved to Australia at 14 after World War II and married at 17, quickly starting a family. She fostered my Aunty Nikki, meaning she never learned to swim or drive. Yet, she was my best friend, despite the six decades separating us. She spoke to me with the same openness she shared with her friends, making me feel I could tell her anything.

She spoke to me like she spoke to her friends, and I felt like I could tell her anything.

— AuthorDescribing the open and trusting relationship she shared with her grandmother.

After my Grandpa died, his brain was donated to science, revealing he had Picks disease, a form of dementia. Nana's days grew quiet. I believe she cherished our company as much as we did hers. Our bond was beautiful, but opening one's heart to love inevitably brings vulnerability to pain. The early signs of dementia were subtle: a laugh held too long, a repeated question. The true impact became undeniable when we lost her on a beach one Christmas Day. She was found happily building sandcastles with other children, a moment that still brings tears, not because she was distressed, but because it showed the confusing reality of dementia – constantly bouncing between clarity and confusion.

That's the thing about dementia, in its early stages you are constantly bouncing between clarity and confusion.

— AuthorReflecting on the unpredictable nature of the disease's progression.
DistantNews Editorial

Originally published by ABC Australia. Summarized and contextualized by our editorial team with added local perspective. Read our editorial standards.

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