Why We Go to the Sea When We Fall in Love

The vastness of the sea calls to us, not just as a beautiful vista, but as a fundamental human need, akin to food or oxygen. This profound connection is explored through personal reflection and literary reference, contrasting the experience of those who grow up by the coast with those who do not. For the author, who grew up in a city without the sea, it remains a place of longing, an imagined image often invoked but less frequently experienced. The sea's presence, or absence, shapes our perception of home and belonging.

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When I can't see the sea, I feel like something is wrong.

Drawing on the words of poet Jon Fosse, who felt something was wrong when he couldn't see the sea, and Kim Suyeon's poem 'Grave and Sea,' the article delves into why lovers are drawn to the ocean. It suggests that couples seek to imbue their relationships with the sea's perceived eternity, its restless waves mirroring their own emotions. The meeting point of land and sea, a soft boundary, is likened to the touching skin of two people, creating an intimate space where the world outside fades away.

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Why is it that when we start a love, we want to go see the sea together?

The sea becomes a destination, a backdrop, and a metaphor for love. To go to the sea is to desire to resemble its vastness, to set one's love against that grand scale, and to momentarily overlay the infinite landscape onto the eyes of loved ones. It is an invitation to merge the fleeting moments of a relationship with the timeless expanse of the ocean. For the author, going to the sea signifies an escape from the familiar, a departure from the landlocked city. For someone who grew up by the coast, it represents a return to a cherished place. In either case, the invitation to the sea is intrinsically linked to the act of loving.

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The sea became a destination, a background, and a metaphor for love.

Poet Jeon Bong-geon's work 'Consciousness 4' takes this metaphor to an extreme, with the speaker wishing to become sand on the seashore. This poetic exaggeration highlights the desire for complete immersion and transformation within the context of love. The poem depicts the sea's interaction with the sand, shaping and reshaping it, mirroring the way love can alter and leave its mark on an individual. Despite being 'messed up' by this interaction, the speaker wishes to be the most insignificant sand, supporting and yielding to the beloved's touch. The poem suggests that even after the beloved departs, the memory of their footprints remains, a testament to how love, like the sea, can become eternal.

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I want to be sand, the most insignificant sand.