'An emotional roller coaster': How an Israeli mother navigates her husband's reserve duty

Esther, a 36-year-old mother, likens her husband's IDF reserve duty to an "emotional roller coaster," a sentiment that has defined their lives over the past few years of conflict. Originally from New York, Esther moved to Israel in 2005 and met her husband, Yonah, through mutual friends. Their life in Tel Aviv was upended when war broke out on October 7, just as they were expecting their first child.

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Miluim [IDF reserve duty] is like being on an emotional roller coaster. A rollercoaster that you forget that you’re on, but you wake up right before the drop and try to breathe through it and not vomit.

On that fateful day, sirens wailed, and Yonah was called to service. Esther recalls the moment she realized the gravity of the situation, feeling a profound shift into motherhood even before her daughter Hallel was born. The events of October 7 felt distinctly different from previous conflicts, leaving her terrified for her unborn child and husband.

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I remember thinking that that was the moment I became a mom. Even though I hadn’t given birth.

Yonah's return from synagogue was met with the news of Hamas's infiltration into Israel and the escalating violence. Esther's immediate concern for her husband's safety led her to ask if he had a will, a question that underscored the profound fear and uncertainty gripping the nation. The article captures the personal anguish and resilience of families navigating the constant threat and separation brought on by wartime service.

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I was shaking. I didn’t know what happened in the South, but I was terrified for my baby. I was reacting in a way that I’d never experienced.