Do “Teto Women” and “Egen Men” Repeat Old Gender Expectations? Young Koreans Debate What Gender “Should Be”

A man who took a year of paternity leave became an example at a Seoul forum on whether new gender labels challenge old expectations or simply rename them.

The man said he was the first employee at his workplace to take parental leave as a father. Although the policy existed, colleagues asked whether he really had to take it and suggested waiting another year. He said he insisted on taking the leave, found it rewarding and built a close bond with his daughter. He also said the arrangement helped his wife pursue the work she wanted and encouraged other male employees to consider parental leave.

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I am the first person at my current workplace to take a year of paternity leave. There is a parental-leave system, but when I applied, people asked, ‘Do you really have to do it?’ and ‘Couldn’t you do it next year?’ So I firmly said, ‘I will take the leave,’ and I did.

The story was shared at the first open public forum on gender balance among young people, held at Hanyang University in Seongdong District by the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family. Eighty-two men and women aged 19 to 39 discussed experiences linked to terms such as “Egen men,” used for emotionally sensitive men, and “Teto women,” used for assertive women.

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It was good for me to spend time with my daughter, good for my wife because she could do the work she wanted, and good for everyone.

Before group discussions, 38.9% of participants viewed the labels as traditional gender expectations with different wording. After 30 minutes of discussion, 31.7% said their views had changed. The share describing the terms as merely repackaged standards fell to 33.3%, while 29.2% said the labels helped them express and explain themselves. The view that they were simply a trend changed little, from 38.9% to 37.5%.

Participants shared experiences involving safety, physical tasks and workplace divisions between men’s and women’s jobs. Their top priorities for change were unequal expectations and burdens around marriage and childbirth, at 54%, followed by different family responsibilities and expectations about difficult or dangerous work, each at 39%. Suggestions included better benefits for parental-leave replacements, inclusive language in laws and policies, and sanctions against gender-role stereotypes in media.

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Safety is an area where men and women seem unable to empathise with each other.