During the 2026 FIFA World Cup, remember: Jewish players need serious rabbinical advice - opinion

In a piece filled with ironic and exaggerated claims, the author expresses a peculiar form of distress over the absence of Jewish players in the FIFA World Cup, sarcastically labeling the situation "outright antisemitic." The article, published amidst the ongoing World Cup, humorously laments that despite a supposed global Jewish influence in finance and politics, their presence is notably absent from the football pitch.

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why is it that time after time we, Jews, find ourselves not at the center of these games? It is outright antisemitic!

The author, identifying as Dutch and a friend of football legend Johan Cruyff, offers tongue-in-cheek advice to aspiring Jewish footballers. He suggests that true mastery of the game requires a profound, almost spiritual connection with the ball, moving beyond mere physical pursuit. This involves "falling in love with the ball," understanding its "difficulties and needs," and identifying with it to the point of becoming one with it.

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Jewish football players need serious rabbinical advice.

Recounting his experiences with Cruyff, the author emphasizes the importance of patience and a deep understanding of the game's flow. He describes how he and Cruyff would wait patiently on the field, seemingly detached from the frantic chase for the ball, instead "listening to the movements of the ball – its groans, its pleas." This philosophical approach, he suggests, is key to anticipating the ball's trajectory and being in the right place at the right time, a stark contrast to players who merely "chase the ball."

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First of all, soccer is a romance between the player and the ball. The real Jewish soccer player must fall in love with the ball and sense where the leather wants to go.