Ethan Juan Filmed Drama While Grieving Mother's Death, Found Solace in Role and Crew Support

Actor Ethan Juan found himself navigating profound personal grief while immersed in the demanding role of a new drama, "Silent Trial." His mother had recently passed away, leaving him in a state of emotional turmoil that deeply impacted his ability to perform.

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The real situation was only known to myself. No one is obligated to understand you, so the situation at that time was actually very complicated.

"The real situation was only known to myself," Juan shared in a magazine interview. "No one is obligated to understand you, so the situation at that time was actually very complicated." The character he portrayed, Lin San, also faced constant life-and-death struggles, pushing him to the brink. For four months, Juan found himself in a dark place, with fewer than five lighthearted scenes throughout the entire production.

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There were many days I was really tired and didn't want to stay in that emotion anymore. I would think, can I just stop thinking about these things?

He admitted to feeling overwhelmed, with swollen eyes for over a month due to the emotional toll. "There were many days I was really tired and didn't want to stay in that emotion anymore," he confessed. "I would think, can I just stop thinking about these things?" However, the work had to continue, and he realized that acting was never a solitary endeavor. The support from his cast and crew became his lifeline.

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Sometimes, people around you are more important than the actor themselves, because they create a safe environment for you.

"Sometimes, people around you are more important than the actor themselves," Juan reflected. "They create a safe environment for you." He specifically mentioned director Wong Ching-po, actors David Wang, Joseph Chang, and Alyssa Chia, as well as the styling team, for their patience and understanding. "They saved me," he stated, emphasizing that their subtle gestures of support, like a pat on the shoulder or a reassuring word, provided the strength he needed to complete the role and honor his character's journey.

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They saved me.